On Facing The Demons Inside Your Head
When we were young, we are often scared of the dark. People say it is when monsters and ghosts are most active. Thus, we learned to fear the night, our bedtime. We hid under our covers, believing that monsters are creeping under our bed, spirits are floating in the air, or sometimes, sitting on empty chairs. It dreads us to think of these things.
But as we grow, we learned to face these fears. We even forgot their existence. We had peace with the dark, with the night, or so we thought.
However, we discovered them, our inner demons. We learned about their existence. We experienced them firsthand. We got a taste of the pain stabbing our hearts, of the lump of thoughts clogging our throats, and of thoughts keeping us awake till daylight.
Even when we are exhausted by the day, we just cannot fall asleep. Our eyes, heavy with all the burden we carry physically, emotionally, and mentally but still, are wide open. We just cannot drift off. Pain, guilt, and regret took over our entire being. They are slowly consuming us.
Just like Melissa, a girl from Romelia Lungu’s novel, Insomnia, we are stuck fighting with all our demons. She thinks she is crazy. She thinks her nightmares are demons trying to posses her. She doesn’t understand what is happening to her, or if all of these are even true, or maybe it is all just in her head.
We feel exactly the same. Lost and empty lying in our beds, not knowing how to deal with all these things coming our way. But just like her, we know we need to fight them all. We know that we got to face them one way or another because we cannot live in fear all our life.
We can try to begin with small steps, with small ideas. Like taking a sip from our comforting cup of coffee or tea. Then, writing three good things that happened on that day, or three good things we expect for the next day. Maybe a small walk in an open space will help us breath or perhaps a new book can take our minds away from these problems. Some might even do drastic changes, like quitting a job they do not love or enjoy. Maybe, even moving to a new place to start anew.
In whatever way we choose to do, the only thing we can do about our demons is to face them head on. We can only let them go by freeing our minds little by little until we find peace and silence during the nights, knowing that you tamed these demons living under your bed.
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